that’s right.
my daughter should not be gone right now, where i do not know where she is.
beaurocracy sucks. it sucks so bad, it makes me a bitter, horrible person =)
i tried to make phone calls yesterday to get my daughter some services. sunday night, we got her back. she was surly and she tried to run. her friends are the one’s that got her for us, and called us. we tried to take her to juvenile hall, and they wouldn’t take her because "all" she was was a runaway. they told us to take her to this place called the mcgee center. it’s supposed to be a "safe place" for kids…which basically translates into, unlocked and unsecure. they can run away from there. they told me it would be good for me to drive over there monday morning and pick her up for school because they could not arrange bus transport on such short notice. no one told me that they had a school option there or that kids usually stay at the mcgee center once they are there. no one. so i did what they told me to and she took off again from school.
while i was there, she had a mental health evaluation. the counselor was very helpful and gave me numbers to call the next day. problem is, my sucky hmo health-insurance has zero of the people recommended on a provider list, so going to any of the people recommended essentially means paying all charges out of pocket. yeah, currently, psychiatrists go for what? $200 an hour? oh, and never mind that either, because she has to go see a therapist before they will recommend her to see a psychiatrist. they gave me three names. i got three voice mails. one called back and could give an appointment in about three weeks. because, you know, when people go into crisis, they should schedule these things. how dare they not know in advance that they are going to need services immediately? apparently, breakdowns have to be preauthorized too.
she was recommended to a residential treatment center. i called them and also got voicemail. i called at 9am. she called me back about 4….after b was already gone again. i have reported her as a runaway seven times in the last 30 days and no one will help me. she has to be a criminal too, or the police won’t get involved, but if i don’t call and keep getting case numbers from the police, no one else will help me and i can be held criminally liable for not doing everything i can to get my child back.
so now, i just cry.
a lot.
frustration is mine.
i feel myself giving up. no one will help me, us, my family. everyone assumes you have information you just don’t have. the last cop that came to the house said if she kept running away, we shouldn’t keep calling the cops to our house, we should go to the substation to fill out the reports. because, you know, it’s just a runaway and they aren’t going to do anything to look for her anyway. on account of the fact that they get SO MANY OF THESE EVERY SINGLE DAY. yes, they actually said that to us.
i feel myself giving up on her. she wins. i can’t look anymore, i don’t know where she is, except that she’s with the weasle and i hear now they have plans to run away together again. i fear for her safety, and i fear for her ability to remain disease free because this boy has cheated on her several times. but there’s nothing i can do. she has more rights than i do in the system, but i am still accountable for her behavior, legally.
so, can i schedule my own breakdown for sometimes next june? will there be an appointment available then, that i can have preauthorized, fill out the forms in quadruplicate, and have my copay ready to go? oh, that’s right, they don’t preauth that far in advance.
damn.
there you have it, then.
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