okay, so technically, it’s not until tonight at 22 minutes after midnight, but it’s almost yule then. yule eve? there we go. i got my pathetic, fake, three foot christmas tree out yesterday.
i had an okay day yesterday.
it still seems very surreal not to have my mom around at home. my sis has been doing great keeping the house in order. she cleaned again yesterday, which was very cool of her, but then again, she isn’t working right now, either. that will have to change for sure, but if she needs some time too, i can understand that. for me, work has been an amazing comfort.
so many people have been so nice to me, it ALMOST gives me hope for humanity. seriously. so many people gave of themselves and their own personal pain in order to share with me…to let me know i wasn’t alone and that others have had to make the same awful choices and live with them. i have been truly blown away by the kindness i have received from people i didn’t consider myself that close to when this whole weird thing began.
i am not sure what else to say, except that i miss my mom. i am sure that i will miss her for a long time. i don’t think i can ever stop missing her. but i don’t want this entry to sound like nothing but sadness because that’s not how i am right now either. i guess surviving would be a good way to put it. i am making it through the days, trying to keep myself distracted, and doing a pretty good job of it too =)
in general, life is still good for me and i have many blessings for which to be thankful. and in other ways, there’s just an underlying feeling of sadness.
i can’t believe christmas is in a few days.
take care, everyone…..tell those close to you that you love them.
peace.
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