quasi-incommunicado

not sure how long this entry will be….

this weekend, i had asked my daughter to bring me some water. she sort of flung it around where i was, kind of "here’s yer water, woman" in a very playful way. she didn’t realize that i was on my laptop, so some water splashed on my laptop and i think it might have shorted out the motherboard. i haven’t tried to turn it on in a couple of days, but it wouldn’t power up at all. i would ask my husband to get me another, but he’s out of town, still in vegas until the 17th of this month. the cool thing is that i am not that upset about things. i hope that i get to keep all my stuff, that would be upsetting to lose everything, but i don’t think the harddrive was damaged, i think it’s the board, so i should be able to get me stuff….

the weekend was good for me, although i really do feel as though i have not stopped running since i got back from vegas.

saturday, i went to a cookie exchange that a friend organized. it was in this beautiful home. i guess that the woman who hosted is a doctor’s wife. they have smaller children and had the most amazingly cute little kitten. it was a siamese. i like those. we ate cheese, drank wine, and traded cookies. it was a lot of fun. i enjoyed the female energy and as the wine was free-flowing, there seemed to be a lot of good and meaningful conversation about spouses, trials of life, it was just a good time. i felt a little out of it because i don’t know these people as well as they all know each other. but, i managed. some of those issues are universal, so they translate well no matter how well you know someone.

then, later saturday night, there was an open floor bellydance event at this pizza/greek place. that was cool too. my teacher was supposed to dance, which is why we went, but she ended up getting sick and didn’t go….but we got to see some others show up and dance and that was great. there was this one lady that i had seen dance before and she had a costume this time….last time she hadn’t really planned on dancing and did, this time she was more prepared. she was stunning….and very, very good. she had some of the finest isolation of her tummy muscles and had great shimmies. wooo hoooo…..

yesterday was much more insular, but still a great day. i had a total dork moment. yesterday was to be the first day where we met to begin a small group of pagan study with a few friends. i was so intent, when getting the directions out of my email, that i just wrote down the directions and didn’t look at the time. so i showed up at this woman’s house at 11am, and the time wasn’t actually until 1pm. hahahaha…..jokes on me. the good news, though, is that i think we are all going to work well together and i am excited to start this process. i do need to make time for it, but that shouldn’t be too hard. these are all things i wanted to do anyway. this is a new thing for me and i am looking forward to learning new and cool and interesting things. the energy between all of us is very good and we seem to all get along well. the three class hours flew by like moments. we ate good food, made arrangements and came to pretty easy agreement about a lot of things, and then left with smiles. it was great.

last night was largely a lazy night. i took an allergy pill yesterday and that always makes for sleepy, medicine head for most of the day. i alternated between tired and spacey yesterday, kinda weird.

my son is learning first hand what it’s like to be a parent =) i called him a few times yesterday and since i have been home to tell him about cleaning up after his new baby….a timerwolfe hybrid puppy. i think he’s getting a little tired of the whole process. the animal is cute, but he’s a busy guy and he likes to be away from home a lot. that’s really not condusive to being a new father, and i told him last night that if he couldn’t take care of the dog adequately, it had to go. it’s a tough thing. he’s a cute little guy, but the bottom line is that no one else needs to be responsible for him. i told him flat out i didn’t want something else to take care of, i am looking forward to that chapter of my life being closed, and he needs to know that. eh. i don’t want to write about that anymore….

i am somewhat struggling with d being gone too. it’s like, when he’s home, we get in to this routine and when the routine is disrupted, i feel more needy or clingy. i wonder what he’s doing, if he’s doing anything that would harm his relationship with me. i generally know he would not, but that crazy woman last year who had a thing for him lives in vegas, so there’s always that shadow of a doubt, ya know? in the end, he is an adult and will do what he will. my job is to decide what i can and cannot live with. it’s been a long time since he went away though, so this is interesting dealing with. he’s going to be gone for about another two weeks. he generally does worse than me when he isn’t home.

i think that’s all i have to say for right now.

peace.