today….

 i would have been married to my first husband for 22 years if we had remained married. *shudder* thank god for small favors. seriously. he died, like, almost five years ago, i think, but my time with him was less than 10….again, thank god.

it’s been over a year since i’ve written here, but i’ve missed it. i’ve been doing this whole integration thing, but there are times when one’s thoughts need to be purged, shared, or gotten out of one’s head, but those thoughts would hurt another human that one generally cares a lot for. that would be me, now.

d, my husband, has been out of work for almost a year. we had to wait awhile before he could apply for unemployment, but he got that in november and is eligible until this november. i didn’t think we’d be able to survive with me being the principle bread winner, but we have. we go out a lot less, we eat out a lot less and there’s a part of me that kicks myself, thinking "if we can live off this much money, we REALLY wasted a lot of money on stupid shit."

so, life these days is a tad stressful. i took on a second job, d is trying to find who he is, and we now have his son living with us, too. he’s a cool kid, but to say he doesn’t have any motivation is a gross understatement. he hasn’t worked the entire time he’s been here either and he just turned 20.

money isn’t the root of all evil nor the root of happiness, but it sure sucks when it’s in short supply and you have or want to do stuff.

for now, that’s all. i am going to try to write here more.

peace.