so, now, about the good.
i hope that no one thinks i am overly verklempt about the whole family business. i am sad that there are shallow, bitter old ladies in the world, but aside from missing an inheritance who’s value would probably be minimal to me at any rate considering what it might cost me to my soul, i am not all that bothered by what occurred. it’s all stuff i had a sense about, i think, it’s just that to have that sense codified hurts a bit. it sort of makes one go "oh, wow" in the way of meeting a casual aquaintence you start to converse with only to realize part-way through the dialogue that they are very racist or something equally repugnant. ew.
so, in the normal course of grocery shopping for a number of grown people, i ended up getting a couple of free turkeys. these came as my local grocery store was giving away turkeys under 16lbs if one spent $100 at their store. this is really easy to do for a weeks worth of groceries, so i got one 16 lb turkey and one package of turkey breasts.
d actually decided he was going to help out with the holiday prep this year, so he cooked the pies the day before and also remembered to take the turkey out of the freezer. none of you can understand how epic this is in terms of him actually remembering to do something to help out, i’m here to tell you =) he tries, but he has A LOT of short term memory challenges, shall we say.
my son showed up early, like 10am or so, which was pretty surprising to me. i think he’s really hurting and wanting to have family time. i know there is a sense with him, told to me by my husband, that he is afraid of letting me down because he is doing something that goes against my values with the army thing. he really doesn’t see that he has much choice, and i think he has nothing but choice. regardless, he is my son and i will love and support him. i just wish he understood that he could come home damaged for the rest of his life because of this decision. or he could die or maimed or emotionally scarred for life. as much as he tries to hide it, he is a sensitive person and he will not be able to remove that from himself, i do not believe. at any rate, he was there early and i was glad. throughout the day, always there were people saying "is there anything i can do to help?" always believing that a collaborative effort is better than not, i took them up and one of the perfect moments of the holiday for me will be the memory of my son and sister peeling eggs for deviled eggs on one corner of the kitchen island while myself and our room mate ashley were on the other side of the island, her chopping artichokes for dip, and me chopping fresh fruit and veggies for home made salsa. my daughter was there, too, getting ready to take over for ashley so she could do something else. it seems so much more meaningful to me if everyone can help contribute to the meal or the food atmosphere. at one point, we were reminiscing about my mom fondly. the cool thing about that is that it was with laughter and good will, which i know is what she would have wanted. while i am sure that a couple of us got a tad bleary-eyed, i didn’t observe any tears actually breaking the barrier to cascade down cheeks.
my sis had pretty much spent the previous week cleaning up the house. she sort of started to make noises about needing help with this when i pointed out to her that her and three other people do ALL their living in that room, d and i do none of it, so it didn’t seem fair to me for us to clean something we never contribute to the mess for. she got motivated, and it was very, very nice, and they’ve mostly been keeping up with it too. it’s a huge relief!
so, that was the essence of my turkey day. the house smelled fabulous, it looked decent, and the rest of the weekend was spent being leisurely, reading, watching movies, and enjoying each others company. there truly is so very much to be thankful for. life is good.
peace. soon. i hope.
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