i am still here.
life goes on.
it's good, as always says the eternal optimist.
i was told recently that i was one of "those people". people that make things happen, make changes occur. i don't know if i want always to be one of those people. sometimes it feels like a really big responsibility. sometimes i can't help that. but then, i just want to hide. that's what i've been doing lately, hiding a lot.
it never ceases to amaze me how valuable escapism is sometimes. it's fall, and things begin to hibernate. mercury has been retrograde, it goes back direct in another two days, but i've been evaluating and trying to figure out how i want my life to continue.
i've also been reading. it's been a really long time since i read vociferously, but i found a series of books that had me completely enamored and now i am bereft because i have read them all and the next one isn't due out until sometime in the fall of 2009. i am pouting. i've been rereading, which is something that's beyond rare for me, it's virtually unheard of. how can i care so much about people who are the invention of an author? they are awesome characters, i must say.
i am going to france next year. i am looking forward to that at the same time that i recognize i need to stop spending money the way i have been in order to be able to afford this trip, to continue paying for it, to work towards something besides my immediate gratification. after france, the world is my oyster. if i can make this happen, and i will, there's nothing i can't do. but what i really NEED to do is find some more tax deductions, because my husband and i are ALMOST DINKS and it's going to be scary to think of not having many deductions in the future. i think "where does it all go?" and then know in the same breath that i live a very good life and pretty much spend money at will. that's probably not a long-term saving strategy that's going to get us very far =) this is a rambling entry of the miscellaneous stuff that's in my head.
my nephew is doing good at basic training. he called yesterday. i said hello to him and then handed the phone over so others in the house could also talk to him. he hurt his foot there, thought he had a stress fracture, but being almost 1/3 of the way done, he doesn't want them to make him stop or not finish, so i think he's just going to work through whatever is wrong. he says they keep jerking him around, but i think the most important thing is that he's working through it. he realizes, being there, how much he needs this in his life. he's learning things i would not want to know in a million years. i don't want to know how to bash down doors, throw tear gas, and shoot people. it goes against everything that i am, but i would do it if i had to. what a dichotomy.
do you ever wonder about that? how lazy and safe we are these days? our existences stopped being about survival a long time ago. even people going through hard times don't have to worry much about disease, hunger, clean water, basic education, oral hygiene, reprodutive choice. my brain is atwitter with all sorts of things.
but that's enough for now.
i want to get back in the habit of writing again, it's good for me.
peace.
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