busy….and philosophy

wow.

i am doing a whole bunch of crap at work and some more crap in my personal life that’s making it hard for me to spend time here. lots of projects, personal and professional.

i don’t want to write about work. just that exciting things are happening, but so far, they are exciting professionally, but the money to compensate me for the additional responsibility has not been forthcoming and now they have announced a hiring freeze on campus because the power bills have been higher than expected this year. that would almost be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. heh. it’s kind of cool, though, to feel like i am somewhat a part of and directing things for something larger than myself and my department. i do feel valued and listened to as a technical expert, and i suppose that’s saying something. enough work.

the magickal study is going pretty good, if a bit frustrating. part of me wishes that i had hours every day to contemplate deity, quantum physics, reality, time, and the universe, but sometimes i just feel so overwhelmed with the number of choices that exist for activities to take up one’s time, i just don’t know where to start. i suppose i should be more stringent with time management and spend more time with my nose in a book rather than watching reruns of law and order: SVU or the other somewhat inane (although captivating) shows that i watch.

i have been trying to meditate. in one of the first classes we had, a classmate taught us a really cool meditation to use every day to try to align the three souls that each person has. i do notice that just taking 45 seconds or so to do this very simple meditation makes a great deal of difference in my day, how centered i feel, and how on task i can stay.

i also believe that i have made somewhat of a breakthrough concerning making contact with my spirit guides. when i read about other people writing about stuff like this sometimes, i wonder to myself what is real for people and which people are just crazy as a loon? i consider myself a rational person, but i can’t change the experience i had. i had a very lucid dream the other night about the triumverate that are currently my guides. i am now anxious to see if the same folks contact me again. am i looking for proof? i don’t know…i suppose that i am. and then a part of me wonders if it matters. even if these folks are all in my head, if they are saying intelligent things is that bad?  if i am gaining insight that i wouldn’t otherwise have, where is that information coming from? from within me? i don’t know…..does that make me evolved or have multiple personality disorder? one persons ascension is another persons madness? it’s impossible to know because so much of this is so very subjective.

i am taking another class from a different friend and he has a different perspective on things. he considers magick a practice and not a religion. there is undoubtedly a spiritual aspect to some witchcraft, but there doesn’t have to be. interesting food for thought, that.

i think that’s all for now. i better go earn my lack of wage =)

peace