the saga continues….

 i thought things were going better.

last night, she came home, i even gave her an extra hour in good faith that she would follow through on her commitment. i woke up this morning, went to her room to wake her for school, and she was gone. her bed had not been slept in.

i had to call the police this morning again, get a new case number. no note, no communication. about 10:30 last night, she was wandering around the front door, and i told her, brianna, it’s late and you have to go to school tomorrow….get to bed. "i will mom".

i had a really good cry this morning. i called the police again and reported her again. the counselor told me to do that, when we saw her. i called the school to make sure she didn’t show up, even though i knew she wouldn’t because her backpack was at home. her school semester is shot now. her counselor told her yesterday, if she missed one more day, no one would be able to help her. the cops told me to have them site her when she returns this time, so she will have to go to court and such. i also took her cell phone and called all the numbers in it and told all the voice mails and people i talked to that brianna left home again last night and that if anyone saw her, they probably ought to encourage her to come home, because she was a runaway.

this really doesn’t seem a lot about control to me. i believe this to be showing blatant disrespect. we even talked and i told her "i understand if you feel like you need to get away, just leave me a note or something so that i won’t worry." nothing.

i have a meeting to go to, so i can’t write more. but damn.

just.

damn.

fuck.

man, am i tired. it’s not even ten a. m. yet and i am exhausted.

now, if she comes home, i don’t even know what to do with her. school has kicked her out. she isn’t old enough to get a job, and if she gets one, then she won’t go back to school. the word "powerless" comes to mind. i am speechless and broken.

bah!

(edited to take out some duplicate wording.)