life carries on….

so, the day after she came home, i called my eap program and got a counseling appointment. i thought that b would hate this woman because she kind of told things how they are, but she said she liked her because she could respect her honesty and straight-forwardness. we go back again on monday. i couldn’t get her a psych appointment right away, but it’s this coming tuesday too, so we will be back on track as far as her meds go.

she talked to me a lot about hating school. she hasn’t told me that the one friend she had at her current school transferred to another school, and i really think that’s what sort of precipitated this, because b thought she was alone, or felt abandoned again.

so, also the day we went to see the counselor, we went and looked at a couple of charter schools that might be more of what she needs to flourish. before, when she was institutionalized, she was in a very small class setting with lots of individual attention and she really flourished in that environment, and hasn’t done as well since. i think she just feel invisible at her current school because it’s so large and so crowded. unfortunately, because of the timing of this, both the school’s we went to are currently in the middle of their cycles. one school, called "i can do anything" charter school, is the one i’d really like to see her go to. they are starting a new session around october 10, but it’s up to a lottery if b gets in or not because they have so many applications. the other school, which i am less thrilled about, but it’s closer to home, is not taking new students until january. so, i asked her to hang in there with her current school just until one of these others worked out. she could get in to icda, and i will be sending my energy that way, but i am not sure how realistic that is at this point.

yesterday happened to have been dental hygiene day for my family. another annoying thing about my daughter is that she has taken such poor care of her teeth since she’s had braces that she is going to have some permanent scarring from the brackets on her teeth. there’s nothing the dentist can do about it that doesn’t cost a ton more money. this is disappointing, but again, is her issue. i can’t really see the scars, but the braces are still there. we will see how things look if she ever gets the damn things off.

bellydancing class last night was fun, if a little off-putting. the instructor invited a toddler she met at one of her performances to the class last night and it was pretty disruptive. some of us take that class to get away from children =) also, last night was the last class for my friend who is moving to germany. i will miss her a lot.

so, life continues. and generally, it’s good. right now, i look at my daughter and still love her because she is of me, but i sure don’t like her very much right now. but i have been forcing myself to spend time with her, to listen to her, and to try to remember that she really is very sweet when she’s normal. it’s hard sometimes.

anyway….that’s about it for now. just wanted to let everyone know what’s going on.

peace.