hahaha...times, changing

I actually do never seem to catch up on some things =) I guess getting some stuff done sort of precipitates that other stuff will not get done. It's funny to me that I introduced the world to Dozer in the last post I did, and I just saw him again last night. Jerk! Here's a more recent pic:

Again, I can't believe how much has changed since my last post! Shortly after that, my sister moved to Sierraville, California, to follow a dream to help build sort of an artists community. That didn't work out for a variety of reasons, but she's trying to make the best of it and is currently living near her love in Davis, CA. I was there this last weekend for Ranger Training, and got to see her, her love, and Dozer. All three are doing well! I applaud Joy for wanting to make a way and a life for herself outside Reno. I know it's hard sis, but hang in there! Even if you come back to Reno, at least you will be able to have said that you did this!

My most exciting news is that I HAVE A NEW JOB!! This has been in the planning stages for me for a long time, but I didn't want to say anything because I was afraid to jinx myself if I put my intention too plainly out there, or seemed assy or over-confident about it before it happened. I also want to list here the reasons I've done this and what led me to this...

In 2001, I did not consider myself a traditionally creative human. I could appreciate art, but didn't really feel I was artistic or that I had cultivated that in myself. I vowed to change that. As my kids were getting older, they needed me less, wanted their independence more, which they were certainly entitled to, and I was left thinking to myself that if I did not build a life for myself, I would be sad and lonely when they made their way into their own existences by not having anything to do or anyone to hang out with or do things with. I was actualizing SOME creativity in the form of Pagan ritual and worship, teaching that to youth through the Unitarian Fellowship in Reno, and making and teaching activities for that group, but felt pretty unappreciated and isolated in those pursuits.

Backing up to late 2000, I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but late in the Summer of 2000, I stumbled upon a Burning Man web site. I started reading, I followed some links to other links, and was completely captivated. I found out that someone I used to be related to through marriage had gone to this thing several times. It was too late that year for us to pull off a trip to Burning Man, but I vowed that I would go the next year come hell or high water and that I would spend that intervening year learning everything I could about Burning Man so that I would have an awesome time when I went. And that's pretty much what I did...

Since that time, I can't even express how amazing my life has been. Burning Man was an amazing experience, but my first couple of years I remember myself thinking "All these people are so creative, I wish I could be creative like that..." Our second year at Burning Man was the "Floating World" year. It was a great year for us personally, we saw and wandered all over the city and filled a passport with interesting and fun things we went around and did. During this process, we met a guy who was a "Ranger", his name is "Sasquatch" and he Rangers still. This gave us the impetus to give back to the community and also Ranger. By virtue of my involvement with Rangers, I began by being a perimeter guard for the local Fire Performance group, called Controlled Burn. I safety'd for them for about a year before I picked up some tools and decided to try for myself. Also around this time, a good friend of mine dared me to take a belly dancing class with her, which I did. I am sad because I am the only one of that group of women who all started on a dare who still dances, but I have never looked back and I cannot even express the ways in which belly dancing and fire dancing have enhanced my life.

As time has passed, I've done more and interesting things. I helped co-produce a festival called the "Drum, Dance and Didgerido Festival" the last two years it ran, then I took my hand at my own event, now in it's fifth year, called "Compression! Art and Fire!". I've taken a "Welding of Art" class, and tried forms of dance and performance I would never have tried before I started this wild ride! All these things have brought more magic, more creativity into my life. BUT, I still had my old, non-creative job sitting behind a desk.

Earlier this year, I was told of a possible opportunity that may come up, working with events full-time, but still on my college campus, which would keep all my benefits and retirement in the same place. I waited and waited and waited, but finally the position was posted! I had to think long and hard about taking this job, because it would be a HUGE change for me. No more behind a desk (ask much as I was before), potentially having to work nights and weekends, being here when events happen, more stress, more accountability. Ultimately, I decided to go for it. I had felt stagnant at my other job for awhile, but very safe and secure.

I GOT THE JOB! Today marks the beginning of my third week, and so far, it's a dream come true for me. Every day, I get validation that this was the right move for me. So many things have gone right, the amount of serendipity in my life is beyond measure and an amazing thing. I love my life! I know there are tough times ahead, but for this moment, I am reveling in the newness, the excitement, the potential, and welcoming the perpetual creativity into my life!

~Peace.

Never seem to catch up....

This was one of my Bro's last hospital trips, October, 2011

I guess that's the sign of a busy person eh? Not sure whether to be happy or not about that =) Generally, I am happy, but sometimes, it all just wears on me.

And then, there are days like today where almost all projects seem caught up, and reflection appears to be my friend, and I can take the time to jot down some thoughts. SO MUCH EXPERIENCE to record!

As I get ready to start posting about this years Compression, it strikes me that I haven't even recorded here my experience from last year's event. Pretty sure I have that written somewhere, so I will transfer it here.

Most recently, there have good times and sad times. My brother Steve passed away on April 18 after a long battle with Cancer. I will just say here, Cancer sucks. Really badly. I got to be there for him in his final weeks and this made me happy, but I am sorry for his pain, I am sorry he is gone, and I won't have him around anymore. We were not always close but we did love each other. Now, I must go, but I will edit and finish this later....I love you Stevie!

Still behind....

and wow, i did not realize the last time i had posted was on the anniversary of my mom's death. i opened the page today and went "whoah". sad sad sad. i still miss her every single day of my life! there's other family going through some stuff right now, i hope it all gets worked out...

me? i am pretty chill right now. there are new things on the horizon for me, i hope, and life is good. being busy is awesome, but also exhausting.

not that i often find myself being resolute about anything, but i did make a commitment this year to being more mindful of living a healthy lifestyle, and of health in general and mind in specific. i'd been feeling sort of crappy, so a couple of days after the post about my mom, i decided to join a gym. a friend took me and i really liked the atmosphere, classes and people. it's been almost two months now and i'm still going strong. i am there about five to six days a week, depending on the work schedules and am feeling a definite improvement in my cardio health. quicker recovery, stuff like that. it's been very interesting trying to be mindful of health again. i am ashamed to say that it's been a long time since i've been in good cardio health, i think maybe we don't realize how sedentary we are until we aren't anymore, or we start the process to change all that. it's different for me, and my experiences are different. it's like i am learning my body all over again, and what it feels like to be winded, have my heart rate in the "target zone". i remember it being harder and perhaps that's where my somewhat fitness level came in from dancing the last several years. i am four weeks into a six week program to jump start my new goals, and it's been a lot of fun. i am enjoying myself, which is something i didn't think i would say much about exercise. there are several dance-centered cardio things i do, plus weights and stuff in a pool. i like it! go, me!

in that same vein, i'd been feeling a little "off" around the holidays and thought maybe the 'ole diabetes had finally caught up with me. it's true, it had. i hadn't been to a doc in a couple of years, and my sugars are now consistently high. that means it's time to start testing, so i signed up for a diabetes education class and got a monitor, and have been testing twice a day. that's interesting, and i am also keeping track of my blood pressure. it all sort of goes together, but there's other stuff i need to change. i am okay with that because i want to live a long, long time, i think.

that's the daily update. this morning, there is snow outside, maybe only the third snowfall of the winter, so we desperately need the water resources. it's still snowing =) this last weekend i worked the state basketball championship tournament and it was fun, but long, sort of boring days. some of the games were good, though, and it made me feel good to be able to make the experience something to remember for those high school kids. i hope they do =)

had a long talk with my son yesterday, who is now in germany and loving life. there is a part of me that is jealous, but i wouldn't trade places with him. we will be visiting them in june of 2013.

there is also a new kitten in the house, and he's pretty cute. his name is dozer and he is full of kitty energy. here he is with grizzly:

World, meet dozer:

have a great monday!

peace....

And today....

This is interesting and cool:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/science/viking-burial-site-found-in-scotland-20111020-1m9m1.html

Today, it has been five years since my mom passed away. I am sad, but feel like everything I do is a tribute to her. I wonder what she would think about certain things, or when I experience certain things that I know would make her laugh. God, I miss that woman, still.

That's about all I got, today.

Wedding, redux....so beautiful!

So, I returned home from Scotland, and truly, really did not stop running until after Burning Man...which presented a whole new set of challenges...

The weekend after I got home, or a scant four days, I was on the Playa, doing Ranger training, participating in 4th of Juplaya, and generally, relaxing. To be honest, now that I am writing this the first part of November, I know I was there, I know I had a good time, but I don't remember a ton about the entire experience. I remember sitting through training....I remember eating and hanging with friends, but nothing stands out. This was the first camping trip for our new birdie at the time, Kilo. She got spooked the final day we were there and flew out of the trailer and on to the playa. My sister saved her, ran after her. I remember feeding Keeper, who was in her last trimester of pregnancy, and cooking yummy food.

Then there was a week of work, and final preparations. My son had gotten married in February, but this, July 11th, is what we called "The Pageant"...the formal wedding, the show, the experience for all friends and family. This caused a tad bit of stress. I was just returning from an expensive over-seas trip and my obligation as the bride of the groom was to host and organize the rehearsal dinner.

We had previously talked to Chris' dad (that's another story and series of posts that is on my list to catch-up on at some point...but not now) and his family drove here all the way from Ohio, and they were going to rent a house. They did rent said house, and it was gorgeous! They had spoken of renting a house, and we had approached them with the idea of hosting the rehearsal dinner there, but there was some implication that there might be weirdness surrounding the entire situation, and I didn't want any weirdness, so I had sort of decided to just handle it on my own.

The biggest hurdle with this was money, but with any luck, this would be the only time my son got married, and it was an overall small piece of everything that was done, but when you're hurting, it's hard to see those things, it's just stress! The alleged potential weirdness ended up being nothing, a misunderstanding. When we had asked Chris what he wanted to do for rehearsal dinner, his wish was to BBQ at a house not too far from where we would be at the Lake, grill some dead cow, eat good food, drink, and all hang out and get to know each other. There was bonus family, too. In addition to Chris' dad, Tom, and his wife Melody and their four kids, they brought Tom's mom, his brother and his wife, and their small daughter too. Yay, family! Chris always wanted a large family and that's something I just couldn't really give him, so I am glad he has that with the other part of the family...

So, I got the chance to talk to Melody on the phone, and there was NO weirdness at all, we arranged to buy the bulk of the food, and they agreed to host at this awesome house they had rented. I made a giant batch of potato salad, we did a lot of bread and it was Summer, which screamed tri-tip and plans were laid and made.

In absolute, I REALLY don't think the weekend could have gone better! The rehearsal dinner was exactly what Chris had said he wanted, Tom and Melody were kind enough to offer us space to stay in the house they rented, the wedding was beautiful with a stunning and not-to-be-believed location, everyone was lovely, friendly, loving. This day made me feel blessed on a level that I cannot adequately express. I was SO thankful for EVERYTHING! My colleague and friend Jim was the officiant, my friend Lenae and her cadre of photographer friends took professional photographs, all the family came and was loving and we all had a good time and there was very, very little drama! I adore my new daughter-in-law, it was fantastic to meet her parents and brother and friends, and there was Sake drinking that was fantastic and good times were had by all! It was a win for everyone!

And here are the pics....I don't have them all labeled yet, but I will work on that...might need to consult with some folks to ensure I get all the names right....eeeeek!



I could not have been more proud of my son, my family, my community...this was truly the sort of day that dreams are made of! I only hope that those who participated feel the same!

Peace!

Home from the UK...

I am home from Scotland, and Ireland.

And I must hit the ground running, as the next several weeks will be very, very busy.

This coming weekend, there's the Playa ROM to attend. Because of other stuff that has been happening, it wasn't possible to attend an earlier ROM, so this will be a good opportunity for Ranger training, we've affectionately dubbed this weekend also as meeting man, and to see good friends not seen for a year.

I will confess that I am actually writing this on October 20, 2011. I left a book mark here for myself because there was lots I wanted to record, not sure if I will remember all of it now....

I remember feeling surreal when I got back. I was glad to be home, to eat familiar food, do familiar things, but also felt my soul and heart screaming NOOOOOOOO! IT CAN'T BE OVER!!!! A very real part of me wanted it to go on forever. I lived a lot inside my head, and that's okay with me. I wanted to imagine and experience what it was like or would have been like. I know with the logical part of my brain that where I live has certainly existed the same amount of time as the UK, but it doesn't have the same sense of history. This hardly ever bothers me, but I appreciate having gotten to see that history, those castles, and experience being there.

After Playa-ROM weekend, the following weekend is my son's wedding. If he had asked me "what's the absolute worst weekend we could have this wedding?" I would have said THAT weekend, but it is what it is and that's when it's happening. Since I am writing this after the fact, it all worked out fine, but there was not a minimal amount of stress in trying to figure this all out. As the parents of the groom, we are, traditionally, to be responsible for travel arrangements for visiting relatives and the rehearsal dinner. Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I am NOT a traditional person! I don't know how to do these things!! Lucky for me, someone, somewhere seemed to sense this, and I didn't have to do any travel arrangements. I think in this sense, I am TOO American. I can't imagine making arrangements for someone else. What an intrusion into someone else's life! I would NEVER presume to know where someone would want to stay, how much they would want to spend, what their requirements are....that whole thing just felt extremely foreign to me because I live my life being radically self-reliant and probably arrogantly so, assuming other people are also.

Two weeks after the wedding is Compression, the fire festival now in it's fourth year.

If I remember correctly, I put this post here to document mi vida loca!

~Peace

6-26-11 Inverness-Edinburgh Day 12

There are only five pictures from my last day or two in Scotland. There are some things I regret, mostly silly things. This last day actually turned in to two days.

The first picture is one of my Scottish groceries. I love oat cakes and some time soon, probably later this winter when I feel like cooking, I will make Scottish oak cakes. Such amazing little rounds of deliciousness! Versatile, and good for you, I think, if made properly. YUM! Milk, cereal, Nutella, Scottish breakfast tea, a banana. I ate well while in Scotland, even when I fed myself!



I think I needed to be out of the hostel by 10 or 11am, I made that with no issues. I knew this was going to be a long day. In essence, my travel day turned in to travel days, as my flight the following morning was supposed to leave at some ungodly hour, so I thought it would be best if I slept in the airport that night, to ensure that I would, in fact, make my flight. I wouldn't actually have minded being stranded in Scotland, but I couldn't do that to my family, who I thought had already sacrificed for me to get the time I had there =) Missing this flight would have cost more money we didn't have.

I had decided at some point that I would spend the money and take a cab into town, but when it came down to it, it was my final moments in Scotland, so I decided to hoof it and spend some final time in Inverness. Of course, this meant I had to lug all my shit all over the place, but I decided to suffer through that. I debated that thought when the brand new super cool bag I had bought for this purpose decided to break apart as I was packing. Pieces of the zipper fell apart, making it impossible to close, which means I had to rearrange things again. Since I had to go back in to Edinburgh anyway, I decided I would head back to that little cheapie store and exchange that stupid bag! I proceeded into Inverness and looked around some more, for the last time. I had wanted to have a meat pie or sausage roll thingie, sort of try Scottish fast food that was unique to that place, but some of the places scared me. I ended up in a sausage shop and found a pretty awesome special for, essentially, a deep fried sausage rolled in some dough. It was good! Good 'ole greasy goodness seems to be pretty universal...I checked the train schedule and waited there awhile, reading a book and watching the people. Very interesting and fascinating past time, that.

The train ride from Inverness to Edinburgh was as stunning as the ride up the first time. The Highland landscape is unique, changes from the Highlands to the Lowlands, and is green, picturesque and seems like the land that time forgot. You can obviously see signs of modernity, but you can also see how little has changed in what seems thousands of years.

Back in Edinburgh, I walked across the bridge and up the hill to exchange my bag. It was a huge relief when it was done! I didn't get any flack from the store employees, it was a straight across trade, I just wanted something not broken to hold my shit, man! I walked around a bit after that, sort of went around the royal mile again, then headed down to the train station. I don't know what it was about this trip into the station, but I got REALLY disoriented and ended up walking around in circles for awhile, then finding out that the bus I needed to get to the airport was outside anyway. I got frustrated!

I got to ride one of those cool double-decker buses and it was a special run to the airport. These were my last glimpses of Scotland that weren't in the airport. Such a lovely place! I hope SO that I can return here some day!

I got to the airport by about 6 or 7pm. While driving on that large bus TO the airport, there was some very large concert taking place and it sort of made me realize how much more efficient other people are than Americans. There was a lot of traffic, yes, but the buses and foot traffic was more much than vehicle traffic. It also made me see that visiting Edinburgh was nice, but it's too large a city for me to live in. Inverness is just about perfect for me =)

I spent the night in the airport. My flight was like, at 6am, so I stayed there because I was TERRIFIED of missing the plane or not being able to access public transportation that would get me there in time for my flight. It wasn't bad, all in all. I spent some time sleeping in the little chapel there. It was quiet in there, it the space seemed to be respectful of all religious paths, not just Christianity. I was pretty delirious by the time it was time to make my way up for my plane. I most regret that I went directly from Belfast into Scotland, so I had this amazing adventure in Scotland, and yet, I have no stamp in my passport to say that I was ever in Scotland. If that's all there is to regret, then I'd say I had a pretty smashing time! Yes, indeed!

I will never forget this trip...and I hope I get to go back some day!

Peace!