Gosh, now, as the veil becomes thin and we come again to the introspection that comes with the season, reflection seems to be upon me.
I just got back from New Orleans, for the second time. Even that was different. There is a human who has become a dear friend who owns the house we stay in, in Uptown, New Orleans. We found out a couple months ago that a health problem she had been advocating for herself for resolution to for a couple of years turned out to be cancer. As I type this, she is undergoing her second chemo treatment. I wish I could know she will be okay, but my energy will be directed that way for her…as long as she needs it.
I read a really interesting book while in New Orleans. It was about a guy that is a white collar criminal and gets caught for bank fraud, they send him to a minimum security prison that also happens to house the last of those experiencing Hansen’s disease (leprosy, as it’s commonly called), living in the nations only leprosarium, near New Orleans. It was a super interesting book, and it sort of gives me hope that even shallow, narcissistic people can change. Maybe not complete narcissist, but definitely self-centered in the extreme before being sent to prison.
And can we just take a moment of silence to commemorate how general ableist and awful American society is in general and specifically how awful it was towards people with Hansen’s disease, like, forever, and makes one think, where does individual “freedom” or free will end when it comes to a “common good”? I don’t know the answer to that, but I think the way those poor people have been treated is abhorrent. I am glad I found this book and read it.
Things are also very different for my life. For almost a year, we have had a roommate that has worked out generally very well. It’s someone I knew when I managed the hostel….someone I had previously thought hated me. Her marriage ended and she needed a soft place to land. I had a soft place to land, and needed someone who knew how to pay rent every month without fail =) Is it absolutely perfect? NO, but we get by, we do okay, I think we communicate well, and I swear I learn stuff all the time now.
We have chickens now, thanks to her!
We got a couple of babies when they came available this last Spring, so, the first picture is Marshmallow, looking at the camera, and behind her, Bob, who thinks “fuck your gender binary, I can be an awesome Bob!”. The next picture is Chaos is the super fluffy one, and the other one is Tapatio (ta-pae-she-o)…who is the disappearing chicken, hippy free-spirit. I hope she lives long enough for us to clip her wings and put her in the chicken house! She keeps escaping to roam free on the other side of the fence. They are fascinating and highly entertaining little dinosaurs. I do love them.
The friend has become a better friend, a cherished friend, someone who helps me on the daily, understand myself and the world a bit better.
A little bit ago, my daughter realized she had been in a depressive episode for awhile, and decided to seek some help. She is now talking to me again. After what will then be over a year and a half, we are headed to Kentucky for Thanksgiving this year, to visit her and my son for the holiday. Recently, she began talking to me again, and I am not sure how to respond. I mean, like, she’s my child and there’s a part of me that will always love her unconditionally. I think the way to deal with it is don’t worry about trust or overthinking it, be thankful it’s happening, hope some good can come of it, and keep loving her. I decided awhile ago that facing HER anger with my own was not going to be productive. She is entitled to her feelings, I am entitled to mine, and that’s a fine place to proceed from.
To start the year last year, I got a new tattoo
Also in January, I saw “Six”, the Broadway play about Henry VIII’s wives. It was meaningful for me and made me realize that while so much of history women have seemed invisible, really, we’ve just had our own stories and told them in spaces that were safe. How about that.
I also went to San Francisco with one of my best friends to visit her auntie. It was a good visit:
I had never hiked the Sutro tunnels, it was a great walk, it was sad to see all the homeless encampments, and there was an incident where I both fell down (again) in front of super hot SF firemen, and was then picked up off the ground by them, much to my embarassment.
I think I am going to end this now, and recount the rest of the year by month. This was sort of rambling and all over the place, but there you have it.
~Peace
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