Okay, ya’all, it’s about the get real up in here. I’ve known for a long time that Black Lives Matter, and this has been a thing for me for a long time, before this, and yet. I have intersectionalities that make me recognize oppressions, or “otherness” to some degree, but I am not Black and I will never, ever understand what people go through who are judged only by the color of their skin. This isn’t about me…100%.
And…this has been so heavy on my mind and on my soul. Dang, it really, really hurts me. I had been searching, for what I wasn’t sure. I know that I have not done enough with the privilege that I have. In my day job, my department, although we support, install and maintain classroom technology, is technically attached to the libraries at the University, it’s a long and convoluted story why, but there are things I love and things I love less about being attached to libraries. One of the things that I love is that the librarians on our department-wide list often post stuff they think might be interesting to others, and for the general education and well-being of all. Earlier this month, someone was awesome enough to post about a class that was constructed by a group of Black scholars named “Academics for Black Survival and Wellness”. It was sort of an ad, or a link to connect one to a course that would run for seven days and would spend 8 hours a day for seven days teaching people about Black Oppression and the war and terrorism that has been waged on Black People in the United States from before slavery (so, really, from the 1400’s) through today. It started on Juneteenth. I was late to the game. They engineered “accountability groups”, so that folks taking this class could say what they would do and what they would continue doing to help end Black Oppression. Since I missed that part, I am making my diary my accountability group.
I need somewhere to download all this stuff, get it out of my brain and to help me codify my thoughts. My hope is that someone will see this and engage with me. I don’t want this to be about me. I am so, so, so aware of my privilege in so very many ways, and I also need a place to put my accountabilities, a place to express my feelings, because this is heavy work. I am behind. I found that I could not “take” eight hours a day. Yes, that makes me a chicken shit when being taught by people who have spent their entire lives in oppression. I am an empath and I can’t watch stuff like that and not cry. Because I see the humanity in people. They are PEOPLE. It’s hard for me to watch kids in cages, see people treated badly, abused, shot, killed. And, my inaction thusfar isn’t enough. My tears and my feeling badly are not enough. It’s not enough for any of us. If we are not actively engaging to change these systems of oppression, we are complicit in it’s continuation, and that is no longer okay with me. So, they concluded the seven day course today, and I am on day four. I am going to continue to get through the material, because I don’t know how much longer it will be up, but I am taking copious notes and pictures, and will also be pasting resources and stuff here. For myself, and for anyone else that might be interested. This will be geeky, and it will be hard work. It’s not easy to see and hear and ready about this stuff that has happened. It makes me physically ill, which is why I sometimes have to stop.
However, in the same way that I visited Auschwitz while I was in Germany, I feel a need to do this work. During WWII, 6 million Jewish people were annihilated. In the work I have done over the last four days, one scholar estimates that over 100 million Africans died as a consequence of the European Slave trade. Think about that for a second.
As a primer, if you are someone who is in the podcasts, the New York Times did a podcast called “1619”. It’s the tip of the iceberg on this, but has amazing information. Here’s a link to it: 1619 Podcast
From there, the last two episodes are about a contemporary black farmer who has been systematically forced to not farm because of discriminatory lending practices. They have a GoFundMe, and I have donated, and say, if you can, please do. Provost Farms GoFundMe
Let’s see how this goes.
Peace.
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