World, meet Kilo!

when we thought we had lost fred, i got my phone and started to look on craiglist. there was something in my brain that said, "there's a cockatiel on craigslist that needs you, find it." i know this sounds crazy, but i swear i had that sense.

after we got fred back and lost olie, my heart hurt for awhile. it still hurts, but we needed to think of fred, who'd never been without another bird. he called for olie the entire way home and i told d that although i understood a need to mourn olie, for fred's sake, we needed to get another bird right away.

looking on craigslist on monday, i found the ad. it was listed saturday and advertised a male cockatiel needing a new home in carson. the person wanted a $100 rehoming fee, which is high. i contacted the person and asked if the price was negotiable at all, and they said to make an offer. i countered, asking if the bird came with cage and all trappings and the person said yes. i told them i didn't want the cage because we have those, and would they take $50 just for the bird. she said yes.

we drove to this strange trailer park in carson and stopped at this trailer that had several rabbit-warren-like outbuildings including chickens and we could hear a dog barking from a shed. she walked around the back of the house, saying she needed to get the bird. she brought kilo to us, with his/her favorite toy, and that was that.

i am writing this on june 7, and kilo has made his/her way into our hearts. we aren't sure yet whether or not the bird is a boy or a girl. some girl markings and behavior, but very beefy looking for a girl. time and a little violation to the bird will tell =)

this in no way replaces olie or what he was to us, but for fred's sanity we needed to make sure we had another bird. fred isn't 100% sure about kilo yet, but they are learning each other =)

peace, is back =)

poor, poor olie bird....RIP bud...

and then the universe decided we needed to lose something we loved...

my birthday weekend, a friend decided to hold what was dubbed a private pyro party. as part of my administration duties with compression, we try to recruit local artists that sculpt and create art in metal to see if we can give them a venue at which to display their art. i LOVE metal art, there's something so hard and beautiful about it, but that's probably another discussion for another time...

this weekend was destined for bird drama from the first. it was the first time fred 2.0 was going to be heading out into the great wilds on a camping trip. d had previously let his wings grow out, and he'd been flying around the house for awhile. the day we left, we clipped his wings, but left some flight feathers on either end, after watching a video on how to do this. when we tested it, he seemed to sink like a rock. BUT, the next day, i had him on my shoulder and a stiff gust came along at the same time a dog spooked him and he got caught on the current of air and took off. he was gone. he did a couple of laps around the yard where the party was and landed in a tree. we went over to the tree and tried to get him. we used a long piece of pvc pipe to see if he would use it as a perch, but that spooked him again and he took off again. across the highway and a large field to the next immediate stand of trees, we think. man, were there tears. i kept thinking about him being a scared little birdie all on his lonesome. he doesn't know about predators or dogs or things that eat little birdies.

d refused to give up and at some point went for another drive to try to find fred. he calls me about half an hour later and says he's found fred. i also drive over to him and sure enough, fred is treed in a weeping willow about two blocks from where we were. by this time, i think he was pretty scared because he'd been gone for a long time and i am sure he was hungry and tired. he didn't understand how the willow tree works, but he tried to reach us. he'd scoot out to the end of a branch and fall a few feet, but that would get him a few feet lower, towards us. d was in the tree, trying to get him to come to him, and i was standing at the base of the tree, calling fred. he finally got to where he was about four feet above my head on the lowest branch and he flew onto my head! i STILL can't believe we got the little bugger back! for him, i think it was a slightly scary, but wildly fun lark, time of his life. for us, it was sheer terror and a small amount of time thinking we were horrible bird parents...much celebration and birthday shenanigans ensued. we were thinking, "BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!" we got our birdie back.

so the next day, it's almost the end of the event. we'd just had some lunch and were lounging, trying to delay the inevitable return to our normal lives where you don't get to hang out with just whom you chose to for as long as you want and make cool stuff. the place the party was at was awesome, and they have birds too! theirs are bigger, though....a cockatoo and a yellow naped macaw, i think. i had our sweet little olie bird on my shoulder and the lady of the house says "you should watch your bird around the little dog, he's okay with the big birds, but he will chase little ones". i had to go to the bathroom, so i asked d to take him and somehow he got spooked. that little weenie dog ran right over and grabbed our birdie and snapped his neck. truly one of the saddest things i've ever dealt with. he died in d's hand, and then holding his limp little body while we tried to process what had happened. to say it put a damper on things would be an understatement. what a horrible accident.

the picture above was literally taken within half an hour of when olie passed away. he was the sweetest little bird. that a bird could be mistreated and still have the capacity to love us, to allow us to handle him, pet him, he sang for us and to us. he made me fall in love with cockatiels and their gentle and forgiving natures.

i will never forget my sweet little olie bird. i have framed this that he was sent to us for his last year, to understand and know how awesome and spoiled and wonderful life can be. so he could die knowing that. and knowing what it was like to be loved unbelievably by his people.

damn, i'm going to miss his little yellow head. there will be others, but none will be exactly like him.

i love you, olie.

no peace today.

how to steal like an artist...

this really resonated with me today. it's one of those things i'd like to come back and read again when i have more time =)

How to Steal Like an Artist

Peace

finding whimsy...

i am craving a little whimsy in my life lately. of course, i will be getting ready to depart the country in a month, there will be whimsy there, but it really can't arrive soon enough for me.

sometimes life feels so staid. so boring. in some ways every day is the same, and then there are amazing and wonderful things that happen every day. but there's still a sameness to them. perhaps it's perspective that changes? the way we look at things? the way i look at things?

i had a great time last week, working a cirque du soleil show that was in my town. it was called quidam, and it was amazing. when i watch things like that, though, it's impossible not to know or feel how hard the performers have to work in order to maintain their bodies, their athleticism, their skill. if one has to work so hard to create whimsy, is it still whimsical for the performer? do you think? or does it become the same drudgery that many of us experience with daily routine. if your daily routine is whimsy, is it still that for you? i know that as a performer, sometimes it seems like drudgery to create beautiful things because it takes hard work. practice, diligence, DO IT AGAIN! i won't say it isn't worth it, but in bellydance, we often laugh at ourselves....

rehearse for six months, spend hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars on costumes, makeup, hair, tools, fuel, any number of things....hours getting read, preparing....and perform for twenty minutes. in bellydance, it's often even shorter than that. five minutes. fleeting. and yet freeing...getting to create magic and give that to someone else with what you do.