trying….

playing hooky from work today. the weather here is awful. it’s hot and clear, it should be beautiful and we should be happy in summertime bliss. the smoke from all the california fires is so thick, you can’t see the sun, it makes you hurt to breathe outside, it’s miserable. dry fire practice last night sucked because we couldn’t burn but it sucked worse that just getting even slightly winded with any of the pieces makes your chest hurt like you’ve just spent a night in a jazz club, chain-smoking cigarellos and inhaling the smoke from others doing the same listening to music of the soul….and none of the joy of having an experience like that. we had our own joy, in rehearsing, but man, it just hurt to breathe deep or hard.

nine days to fire arts festival. i can’t wait! now it’s trying to make sure we have all the money and stuff in place to make it all happen.

so, i should probably write about this experience i’ve been happening lately. i may even have mentioned it in here before. when i was young, starting in middle school and continuing through high school, there was this girl who was an out and proud dyke way back then. i admired her for being her own unique self, but we had good and bad times. we shared a kiss once, and it completely confused me because it was in a park, and she pulled away from the kiss. at the time, i just thought it meant she didn’t like me. i still wonder what happened at that moment, not even sure she remembers it. we will probably get drunk together some time and i will ask her about it =) at any rate, when i moved back to this town that i love, she was here, and we’ve seen each other periodically over the years, but for lack of better terminilogy, sort of seeme leery of each other. she married to a successful local attorney and having small children, me in a different place. but a few years ago, when i started dancing, we began encountering each other more often, as she lives down the street from one of the dancers i’d sort of become friends with.

at an event at this dancers house one time, she relayed to everyone there how i had taught her a good life lesson when we were in high school and then related a story when she had been two-faced and saying awful things about me at the time i walked up behind her in the lunch room in high school. i had thought we were friends. i remember looking at her and just turning around and walking away. i am glad she learned a lesson from that. i hadn’t even really remembered it until she brought it up, then i sort of went "yeah, that did happen".

in the last six months or so, we’ve gotten back more in touch with each other and have become friends again. we’ve shared a few more kisses, mostly drunken ones. now, she’s divorcing her husband for reasons unrelated to any of this, it’s just her time. she just had a birthday, i went to her party. we’ve had lunch a few times together, talk more often, email back and forth. i am interested to see what this friendship has in store for me. there’s undoubtedly sexual energy/tension between us, it’s just a matter of whether or not anything will come of it.

have also sort of been seeing the lady i was last year again. her health issues seem to have settled down a bit, so we will also see what happens with that.

aaahhhh…..variety is the spice of life =)

peace.