...and the flame lingers on....

right now. this moment is momentous for me because normally at this time, i'd be in black rock city. this is the first time in 13 years that i am not attending burning man. the reasons are myriad. i had a really, really rough year last year. after taking the new job, in a very real sense, i now ranger full-time. every day there are aspects of my job that i have to ranger. and i work hard, and sometimes long hours. when i had a desk job, working harder on my vacation than i did all year seemed an okay thing to do. having a more stressful job kind of makes me want to have vacations that are relaxing. rangering isn't necessarily relaxing...

there are a lot of other things i tell myself right now, to keep sadness at bay. there's so much more of the world that i want to see, perhaps returning to black rock city every year is not the smartest choice considering there's so much ELSE i want to see. there is a lot of beauty in the world, and while there is A LOT of it concentrated in the miasma of black rock city, it's nice to see it in other places too.

also for the first time in several years this year, i went camping NOT in the desert. i went to a smallish event in the state of nevada over the 4th of july weekend and had an amazing time with good friends. i should maybe post pics of that, but i am not feeling it today.

for the last few weeks, we here in the truckee meadows have been inundated with smoke from a fire raging in the yosemite national forest. my dear friend and i decided to head to tahoe to see if we could get above the smoke. we thought at first we had been thwarted, but close to when we needed to leave, it seemed to clear for us, and we got amazing views. i am sometimes overwhelmed at all the beauty there is around me. i perpetually feel blessed.

there has been a lot more happening in my world that's new for me. for the first time in the last five years or so, the fire festival that I began had it's sixth iteration without me this year. with the new job, it seemed important to set a boundary of not being overly involved and stick to it. no fire performance for me, at all this year. during artown, our month-long arts festival here in reno, i did bellydance, but there's been too little of that in my life too.

life is different, but different isn't necessarily bad. i think sometimes it's hard to know you are in a rut until something happens to force you out of it. for me, this year, it was not being able to go to burning man...and being okay with that.

there have been more cockatiel babies. our baby fred had babies this year with a pearl female and we were blessed with an albino birdie. dan says he learned on the cockatiel facebook page that all albino cockatiels are female. she sure is sweet! world, meet pinky:

the first football game is about ten days away, which will make me a very busy woman again. i will update as i can. i think i need to be more random in my postings and not quite so linear. might record more that way =)

so, while not burning in a traditional sense this year, the fire still burns in my soul, and will find new and interesting ways to manifest! so mote it be.

peace!