hanging in there....

the last six months have flown by! life has been interesting to say the least. a little happy to start. before burning man last year, two of our cockatiels decided to mate, and we had a couple of baby birdies. those birdies are now essentially full grown, but still under a year old. my husband being who he is, of course, their names are Darth and Vadar. Here they are, this picture was taken 12-26-12:

here are the new babies. so far, they are named 3 & 4, but this was taken yesterday, 1-12-13:

please ignore my double chins up there, i was using the forward facing camera on my phone taking that, and i was very impressed and excited that the front one was looking right at the camera. to give you an idea of scale, this is what the above one, looking at the camera, looked like newly hatched:

i think i have probably questioned everything that i am, my choices and my life A LOT in the last six months. it hasn't all been roses. there has been some hard stuff, mostly related to adjusting to a new job, a new work culture, a new place, and realizing how very comfortable i had been, what i had, and trying to decide what the best thing for me and my family is. i am mostly still not sure about a lot of that, but am slowing making my way towards establishing a new comfort zone, i think.

burning man last year was an interesting thing for me. i worked A TON of hours leading up to it, and the day i actually left turned into an epic day at the day job, followed by frantic packing, driving an unfamiliar car, some waiting, and some frustration. the end result is that it was more than a 24-hour day, with us arriving on playa saturday pre-event at about 8am. i don't really feel like i ever caught up from there and when one works long and hard at a day job, it's hard to do the same thing on what is supposed to be your vacation. i think i came home more exhausted than when i went, and crashed right into a shitstorm of epic proportions resulting from taking a two-week vacation two months into a new job. it was very hard and has left me re-evaluating many things.

right now, life is pretty good. i feel like i am making a lot of progress on a lot of things.

i am sad because i haven't been able to do a lot of the things that i really enjoy doing. i have spun fire one time, around election time, since before burning man...in fact, since compression. i haven't been able to bellydance in longer than that and while i had started going to the gym and kept at it more than six months going 3-5 days a week, i haven't been now in a few months and finances have dictated cancelling of the gym membership, but this is something i need to seriously get at again.

i struggle, sometimes, still. i am going to see if i can get back to doing some of the stuff i love. i need to do that. i also want to do more yoga...seems like the thing to do.

that's where my life is right now. have a lot to do to try to make it to germany at the end of june. my kids are great, and in general, i have much to be thankful for...and i am. it's just working out the kinks and trying not to be spoiled and entitled =)

best christmas present ever was getting to skype with my son and his wife in japan for about two hours on christmas day. love that kid, love his lovely lady, and yesterday we got a box of sweets and other yummies from them they sent from japan. he is safe, he is healthy, and trying to figure out how he can live in japan. if he makes it, then i get to go visit him =)

~peace.