good weekend…

boy, did i have a great weekend.

imagine this…i had the fate of at least two gorgeous and awesome ladies in my hands saturday night as i got to prepare them for JELLO WRESTLING!! it was all in good fun to raise money for a project i am assisting with for burning man this year, but it was interesting and titillating. heh. me and several others helped make the jello, not too warm, not too cool, but juuuust right, slicker than snot, and ewey gooey goodness. red jello…..it was all in good fun.

i miss my mom, and getting to tell her of my adventures or seek her advice when i struggle with things in life. this came to light for me last week or so when an unexpected professional opportunity presented itself. i have been asking for an upgrade to my job since i finished my degree and so far, nothing doing. my boss says she’s trying, but i think there’s more she could do, if she were more motivated, and i think the hr person who’s supposed to be helping her is still smarting from her own professional frustration from awhile ago. well, someone who supports me across the street at the main campus it transferred to another position, leaving hers open. after doing some soul-searching, i decided i needed to apply for this job in order to further myself professionally. but, the more i thought about it, the less right it seemed to be, so today, i spoke to my big boss again and told him there’s more for me to do here, still, but i do need for some things to change. i got his commitment that he would help me where he can, and he agrees with my assessment of things, and so now, i still wait. it’s okay, though…i feel better about the decision. what was so acute to me is that THIS is the sort of thing i generally would talk through with my mom, and she’s not here to talk it through with anymore. she probably would have told me "those folks have been so good to you…don’t burn your bridges, those are good people"…which i know, but i also need to take care of my family. if i had gone against her advice she still would have said "well, that’s okay, dear….if you think this will be the best for you, that’s what you have to do". mom’s and unconditional love are like that. i expect to blunder often without her sage personage to bounce things off, her balancing and wise psyche to advise me, but when i think about it, she’s still there, in my heart, and i think i knew her well enough that i can probably predict most of her responses, it’s just still so sad to me that i have to talk into space now rather than interact with my mom, so that i can kiss her on the cheek, tell her i love her, and thank her for listening to me.

there’s a lot more to say, but that will have to be it for now. it’s time to go home. going to see my girl tonight, that should be fun times. spent a lot of the weekend with d….overall, life is awesome.

will write more when i can….

peace….who would have thought that before 40, i could say i’d lived through two wars?

not me.