life, going on….

well, it’s been awhile since i updated, so i suppose that it’s time.

my mom had her procedure on monday. sometimes, she seems so frail, it just really makes me cry. she is so very strong though, and an amazing trooper and such a beautiful woman, though, it also makes me very proud that i come from such a wonderful woman.

with this procedure, they were again to look at the artery supplying blood to her leg and see if it had closed down again. the difference this time is that there is a new device the doctor is using that actually excises the plaque from the artery and removes it using suction. so, almost a literal roto rooter for the pipes, because in normal angioplasty, they just push the plaque against the vessel walls with the balloon and try to keep it there with the shunt. because of my mom’s medication snafu with the plavix, hers was completely closed down again. the doctor had to have the representative from the medical technology company who makes the device there because it’s a new device she’s only used about four times before. they were very impressed with the amount of plaque that came from my mom’s artery and she said the device functioned very well and they didn’t know they could excise that much using the device. that makes me happy that they got it out, but sad that my mom’s arteries were in such bad shape to begin with. have another cookie, mom =)

at any rate, she’s been pretty spunky since the procedure. we have another appointment with the vascular surgeon next week for her to evaluate my mom’s foot. i need to give her foot soaks and try to get the thing to heal. there are still two black spots on her toes that concern me greatly, but what will be will be and this is the result of events that have been going on for a very long time. it does make me sad, though, to think of my mom losing mobility.

my sis has stayed home the last couple of days because she had a cold and didn’t feel well, but today is the first day my mom is alone at home. we made sure she had food and all that, and i asked her not to go down the stairs. i told her to call me if she needed anything, i am ten minutes away from home and my work totally understands what’s happening.

i had to take her to the lab yesterday and we went out to lunch. it’s really the first time she’s been out in a long time. she did great and even has been a bit honery since the procedure. i think she enjoyed being out and she did really well. it was hard to be around her and help her so heavily with walking. i think regardless of whether or not she loses her foot, she’s going to need some sort of walker, because it isn’t realistic for me to support her to that degree always. and she’s not very steady on her feet.

so, we are maintaining. i love my mama more than anything, this i know. i don’t want her to die, but i also don’t want her to be miserable and in pain. i am still struggling with that. when is it okay for one to be okay with someone they love dying? i don’t know the answer to that….

next week we have to go back to the vascular surgeon, and she will look at mom’s toes. i will try this weekend to help them convalesce, but i am unsure what more i can do. the skin is peeling off of them and although it looks like it’s getting blood now, the cracking and peeling makes me nervous in addition to the black spots.

i am trying to catch up at work, and it’s an interesting odyssey. my new database project is continuing, and i got my first web registration yesterday, which was very exciting for me.

had a great dance class this week that i sort of taught or at least led. it’s much harder to teach than i thought it would be. aside from the fact that it’s hard to be winded and talk at the same time, it’s also hard to explain how the moves are supposed to look. interesting stuff that. i had called and said i wasn’t going to be there, but i am really glad that i did it…it made me feel better and more accomplished. yay, me!

i think that’s about it for an update for me, right now.

life goes on….

peace.