beauty, everywhere...

my sister and i underwent an exercise in nostalgia the other day; actually last weekend. we went through all our family photos and such, picking out a first batch to scan and post on the internet. mostly, i want them to be there. if they are on the internet, no matter what happens, they will likely be there if i put them in enough places =) my worst fear is a fire or something where i would lose such things. so much history....even if it's only meaningful to me, it matters. every persons story matters. i might occassionally post snippets from those long days gone by here. it seems to be a decent idea.

last night, a friend from the area who teaches at several fitness clubs around town came and taught our fire group a "zumba" class. it's a latin-fusion type thing...super high energy and much fun. i felt exhilerated from it and was proud that i was able to keep up the entire time. heck, at this rate, i might even try a pole dancing class =) that would be pretty funny, but i also have a friend who has a studio that does that. might be fun, who knows? couldn't hurt, right?

there just isn't a day, lately, where i am not thankful to be alive and be living this life. i love my life, even on the not-so-good days. i have become a marginal facebook addict, which is fun too. it's interesting to keep up with friends throughout the day, and being able to post my day. it's almost like open diary taken to the next level. one could say that it's more superficial than this, perhaps, but there's still the ability. i've noticed something interesting in the last few years...when we first starting being on the internet, it's like the allure was the anonymity of it. like, you could be whoever you wanted and that appealed to so many people! now, it's sort of evolved into being proud of your online identity, or like you can't hide anyway, so you might as well "out with it" and accept the consequences. THAT part of things seems more genuine now, than when i first got on the internet. or, that could just be my perception. some say perception is reality =)

i am trying to stay more politically aware of things. i love many of the things obama has done so far. i love the message he gave to the arab tv station. i love that he said there will be no more waterboarding and guantanmo bay will close within a year, although i can wish it were sooner. i love that he repealed the global gag order in relation to world family planning. i am also reading his book " the audacity of hope". i am encouraged, but still jaded enough by at least the last eight years to be cautious and approach this new hope with trepidation.

i think that's all i have to say for now. trying to get back in the habit and taking the time to write more. we will see =)

peace.

beauty, everywhere…

my sister and i underwent an exercise in nostalgia the other day; actually last weekend. we went through all our family photos and such, picking out a first batch to scan and post on the internet. mostly, i want them to be there. if they are on the internet, no matter what happens, they will likely be there if i put them in enough places =) my worst fear is a fire or something where i would lose such things. so much history….even if it’s only meaningful to me, it matters. every persons story matters. i might occassionally post snippets from those long days gone by here. it seems to be a decent idea.

last night, a friend from the area who teaches at several fitness clubs around town came and taught our fire group a "zumba" class. it’s a latin-fusion type thing…super high energy and much fun. i felt exhilerated from it and was proud that i was able to keep up the entire time. heck, at this rate, i might even try a pole dancing class =) that would be pretty funny, but i also have a friend who has a studio that does that. might be fun, who knows? couldn’t hurt, right?

there just isn’t a day, lately, where i am not thankful to be alive and be living this life. i love my life, even on the not-so-good days. i have become a marginal facebook addict, which is fun too. it’s interesting to keep up with friends throughout the day, and being able to post my day. it’s almost like open diary taken to the next level. one could say that it’s more superficial than this, perhaps, but there’s still the ability. i’ve noticed something interesting in the last few years…when we first starting being on the internet, it’s like the allure was the anonymity of it. like, you could be whoever you wanted and that appealed to so many people! now, it’s sort of evolved into being proud of your online identity, or like you can’t hide anyway, so you might as well "out with it" and accept the consequences. THAT part of things seems more genuine now, than when i first got on the internet. or, that could just be my perception. some say perception is reality =)

i am trying to stay more politically aware of things. i love many of the things obama has done so far. i love the message he gave to the arab tv station. i love that he said there will be no more waterboarding and guantanmo bay will close within a year, although i can wish it were sooner. i love that he repealed the global gag order in relation to world family planning. i am also reading his book " the audacity of hope". i am encouraged, but still jaded enough by at least the last eight years to be cautious and approach this new hope with trepidation.

i think that’s all i have to say for now. trying to get back in the habit and taking the time to write more. we will see =)

peace.

music is poetry…

 on the yahoo group for my bellydance community, someone posted this amazing video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch

music is truly poetry:

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she’s down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes…
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes…
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes…
Nobody knows

i think perhaps i will let that stand on its own for now. i have some updating to do, but i am still sort of masticating on what it is i want to say. what i will say is that i haven’t felt this hopeful for a long time. it feels good.

le sigh.

peace, for now.

still hanging in there....

i got to talk to my nephew online the other day. he's been back in georgia for just over a week now. he says he's depressed to be back there, but still managing okay in school. the day i talked to him was because he was having some stomach trouble, so had been placed on bed rest.

things are sort of starting to heat up with the fire arts festival, pun somewhat intended =) our guy who we showcased with his metal sculpture last year is coming back, among some other folks. our first grant review is next week, and i am excited and nervous! this would be a big boon to us, if we got this grant!

in other news, i've been doing some web stuff on the side, and have a couple of cool sites to brag about. i helped a friend do his site, which is now operational. his name is david and he operates "west coast juggling". i also do my friend leilani's site, she can be found here. then, i redid the controlled burn website, which can be accessed on the side there, as well as the fire arts festival website. it's been busy, busy but good.

i am trying to get some guest teachers to come and do some different dance types for controlled burn. i hope i am able to make this happen because i think it will be super fun! some folks decided to take january off. we don't have any pending gigs, but time off is time to get out of the habit of doing something, i say =)

in only a short two weeks from tomorrow, bellydancing starts up again. i have a couple of work friends convinced to take it, and i think my daughter wants to take it too, so there will be a whole passel of new bellydancers learning this semester! i didn't get in to the advanced welding class which sort of makes me sad, but i will keep trying. i want to finish my piece, if nothing else. i think it will look cool. maybe i will take a picture of it as it is and post it.

at any rate, that's what's up with me right now. i am looking forward to the inauguration. i am hopeful that a new administration will listen to the people.

peace.

hectic holidays....

the holidays were hectic around here. my nephew returned briefly from the army, he was home for two weeks. i cooked a lot, we showed him a great time, and hopefully he feels loved and like life is good for him =)

i got to perform in the community nutcracker held in fernley this december, and this is something that i am so glad i did. i will definitely do this again. i did initially because i love to dance, but found out after we were there that this was a community performance to raise money for scholarship funds for kids who otherwise would not be able to continue taking fine art classes at the university level without this scholarship help. a worthy cause, and we had those girls shakin' their groove thangs by the time the weekend was over =)

here is a picture of myself and my dance partner with a very flushed looking teenage santa:


hopefully next year we can convince more dance sisters to join us!

on new year's eve, controlled burn performed at our third annual "fire and ice" extravaganza at northstar at tahoe. the village there is a lot more filled out this year and in spite of the chaos that generally accompanies an event like this, it was a good show.

after the show, i went to a friends house, who does safety for the group, and had a quiet and festive new years celebration.

that's about it, for now. will try to post again, soon.

there is less than a month left in the presidency of gwb. although the celebration truly began in november, it seems more real now. i have spent a lot of time on obama's transition website. i am going to make a concerted effort to never be apathetic again, i believe that's how we got where we are now, and our newly elected leader wants to change that. i am in the process of reading "the audacity of hope" and it's quite engaging, so far. now, i just need more hours in the day =)

peace.

hectic holidays….

it was a hectic couple of weeks, with my nephew here.

everyone in the house partied very hardy. i, did not. it was sort of just like the type of stuff i was glad to get rid of when he left for the army, but it was good to have him home. most of the difference is that he had money this time, which was a definite change from the past. we wanted him to appreciate being home, and i think we did that.

someone actually asked me this morning if i could have more people over my house to party tonight. these are not people i know. at all. i am amazed that they asked, because i’ve come home or been home the last few days and had people i didn’t know in my house wondering "who ARE these people"?!?! i wonder in what universe with these folks is this okay? people don’t seem to have the same sort of respect for folks or stuff that doesn’t belong to them that they used to.

this sounds sort of negative, but it’s really not. i think we all had a good time. i cooked a lot. i like to cook, i just don’t like to be the ONLY one to cook and clean. THAT, bothers me. we need to seriously clean up the house now, after vacation. it won’t be me, doing that =)

the holidays were very quiet for us. we stayed home mostly. it wasn’t about commercialism. each person got one nice gift. for the family, we got "guitar hero" for the wii. that is some good game there. it’s SO FUN. much time was spent, the last few weeks, realizing why i don’t quit my day job and become a singer =) all of us suck pretty good at it, but we are getting better and it is loads of fun. next, our goal is get wii fit. i’ve heard things about this that are amusing.

i am not really feeling much like writing, but did want to update.

will write again soon!

peace

happy solstice…belated

 i am at that point where i am feeling exceedingly blessed in and for my life.

spirituality has been something that, while not really lacking in my life, had been less prevalent than at other times in the past. i thought around samhain time "gee, i used to put a tremendous amount of energy into creating and putting on these elaborate rituals to help many people celebrate the solstice’s, now i do none of that…" this is true, but i also do things that bring people happiness (i hope) and joy on a more regular basis, and it’s all people, not just pagan people =) i mean, of course, the difference between fire performing and being an active pagan. the pagan beliefs have never gone away, they are just not practiced as intentionally or with as much purpose as in the past. in many ways this makes me happy, because what i am doing now is more physically active, and i enjoy it a TON. at any rate, the dichotomy had occurred to me periodically over the years, so i thought i would mention it =)

on wednesday of last week, my nephew came home from georgia for two weeks on leave from the army. i’ve been very domestic lately, cooking all his favorite foods and making sure he feels welcome and loved while he’s home. he’s enjoying things pretty well, i think =)

last week, at some point, i got an email from someone who is a casual friend, but not someone i know overly well. his son participates in our fire group, and he is recently divorced. he invited me to a solstice celebration at his house. i had previously been invited to a bar crawl, that i had thought of attending, but i am just SO not a bar person, normally. this was so much more in line with my values and what i wanted to do, i made a mental note to do so, knowing that i also had to go earlier in the day to a cookie exchange, which i knew would also be fun.

in essence, my solstice was perfect.

it started with the cookie exchange. i went boring and did snickerdoodles, but they are a good cookie and super easy to make, so that made life super good. the cool thing about the cookie exchange is that it was with friends that i made while being involved in the aforementioned pagan stuff, so it was like spending solstice eve as i have on several other occassions, sharing food, wine, and good conversation with good friends of a like mind. bliss. i stayed later than everyone else to visit with my friends i hadn’t been able to connect with for awhile, and timed it just perfectly so that i was heading south at exactly the right time to catch the solstice party.

i think it’s sometimes good to be around people you don’t know well. it forces you to remember what it’s like to be "the new person" and also allows you to interact with people you might not otherwise, if your friends were there. i did get to spend a decent amount of time with some folks also from the fire group who also showed up, getting to know them a bit better. i wasn’t sure, honestly, if i was going to last until midnight, when the invitation had said we would toast the welcoming of the sun again, and longer days. man, am i ready for longer days….i didn’t think it would ever get here! it’s especially poignant because it’s been really cold here lately, like bone-chilling, less than 10 degrees cold. burrr.

so this guy was having a solstice party, but he hadn’t heard many of the stories associated with the celebration of the solstice, so i was able to share some of this knowledge with him, which felt good…and right. some more people were exposed to religion that predates christianity! yay, for open-minds and open hearts!

sunday dawned clear and chilly, but it was going to be a good cooking day for me. i had promised my nephew mexican food and had done some of the prep work for it, but then gotten distracted by cookie making and put the prepared ingredients away, so sunday is generally a day i cook and have not a lot else to do, and so it was.

just as i was putting the finishing touches on dinner, my cell phone rang and it was that girl i have mentioned before. the one who likes to play around with me and kiss me when she’s drinking, but otherwise seems hot and cold (pun intended hehehe). things have changed between us. i appreciate her in my life, and honestly, i think she needs my friendship the most at this point in her life. she’s seeing a very nice man, and seems happy. i see her pretty often, and with her, i definitely think friendship is the safest course. at any rate, she called to say that she was having a small, private solstice celebration and she’d like me to be a part of it. I told her i’d be there and i went. she doesn’t live that far from me…

the ceremony was great. what we did was write down 5 things that we wanted to get rid of in our lives and 5 things we wanted to accept, grow, or harvest in our lives. then we shared the things we wanted to purge before throwing the pieces of paper in a fire that was in the back yard, then came inside, sat around a table and shared the five things we wanted to grow before placing them in a jar, to be buried with fertilizer tomorrow and buried, so they can "grow" this year. after the smallish ritual, we went christmas caroling! it was a lot of fun, and i feel like my holiday was perfect.

have any of you, with kids or on your own, ever played the game for x-box of wii called "rock band"? that is the FUNNEST game..we giggled for hours the other night, the kids and i, singing those songs and trying to figure things out.

today, is a great day, and i am SO ready for the days to begin to be longer.

here’s hoping everyone has awesome holidays!

peace….soon =)