RIP, My Friend...

Michael Lewis Ritchey, 12-16-1965 to 7-17-2023

Mike was my friend. I found out about his passing last night.

I met him in the mid-90’s, when I was divorced. We dated briefly. I would say, likely between 1997 and maybe 2004 of 2005, we didn’t speak, and then he started messaging me again on Messenger, I think. I think we actually met on AOL, which probably tells you anything you need to know about how old I am.

There’s so much to say about my friend. He mattered, his story mattered. I have so much grief for him. I am so sorry he never had or experienced the sort of all-encompassing, all consuming love that takes ones breath away. He lived a dysfunctional life. His mom died of cancer when he was a teen and I think his dad, a lifelong Boeing worker, didn’t know how to be nurturing. He had a brother that died several years ago suddenly and that shook him mightily, as I think the brother might have been younger, but died of a sudden cardiac event. He was brilliant and wrote books about gambling, odds, and mathematical computation to beat those odds =)

I don’t think I have records anymore of the first time he visited me in Reno again, I think it was early 2000’s. The farthest back I could find was April 2013, when he came to Reno and I took him to Virginia City. He was enchanted. He said the thing that struck him the most about being there is that it’s truly a town that time forgot. While there is electricity in the city, it is almost eerily quiet. Until he said something, I hadn’t noticed that there is no “city noise” there. It’s an isolated, sort of mountain little village/town, and there’s no hustle or bustle there because there is none. We looked across the 600 mile canyon, where, on a clear day (and the day we were there was clear), you can see alll the way to Utah, which is a feat, as VC is in Western Nevada.

He was so sweet. Because I do a ton with events, the arts, and Burning Man in my local community, I know a lot of people. It’s fair to say that we literally almost could not go out to dinner without me seeing someone I knew through the communities I am connect to. He used to tell me I was a minor Reno celebrity. One time, we went to an Italian restaurant downtown and saw the then-Mayor. He knew me from arts work and grant meetings and said “Gemini, so good to see you!” I introduced him, said he was from visiting from Seattle, and the Mayor was very gracious. We saw down and Mike said “I can’t believe we are out to dinner and you just introduced me to the freaking MAYOR of your town!” In may ways, Reno is still very much a small town =)

I had a couple of very bad years where I took a job as a full-time events manager and I hated it. I had entertained the idea of being done with Burning Man. Still being as busy as I ever way, but doing it for just one place, instead of for free for all the places. There was no work/life balance and my boss and I just didn’t communicate well. But one of the highlights of that job is that I got to show Mike through the venue and some of the “secret” things about the venue that not a lot of people get to see. Like the “Metallica Hole” at the top of grid that is above the arena floor that had to be cut for the Metallica Black tour to accommodate their specific stage and setup, and the underground drainage system that keeps water out of the venue, that is built on top of an aquafir =)

We used to sort of play this game in Reno. We were both foodies, and with the exception of very exceptional meals, when he came to visit me, in about 15 or more years of doing so, we never ate at the same restaurant twice. The rules were relatively simple, that we wouldn’t eat at any chains, they would be local eateries. There was never a shortage of unique places to take him in town, as restaurants often have a short life, and are always changing in any town.

He loved baseball, he loved the history of baseball, the history of baseball stadiums, and he was a lifelong and rabid Seattle Mariner’s fan. It didn’t matter how badly the team did, he always rooted for his M’s. Another thing we would do is whenever I had to travel for work or for fun, if there was a historic baseball place where I was, I would go there to be able to take pictures and send to him. I went to New York City and stayed in Brooklyn once, and he sent me to the former Brookly Dodgers home, before they moved to LA, Ebbets Field. It’s now a horrific housing project, like a giant monstrosity of a building, but there’s historical plaque and the portion of one wall there commemorating where it once stood. I went and took a picture for my friend. From what I gather, it was a dangerous part of town and a nice man I met, who I asked to take a picture of me in front of the wall said “Where in the world are you from?! GO HOME, this is not a nice place for you,” as he handed back my digital camera. Thanks, sir. I also went to Minneapolis for a work conference once (June 2019) and went to a Twins game because there was some historical marker or some such there that he wanted me to see, or that I saw for him. And sent him copious pictures.

He loved comic books, and one of his favorite comic book artists was Neal Adams, like old style Batman comics, he had a distinct style. In November of 2014, he came to see me in Reno, one of the few years Reno got to host a ComicCon, and Neal Adams was there. He got to meet his idol, shake his hand, and he bought me a beautiful Norman Reedus print Adams had drawn. It’s still very much HIS style, but the subject matter of a TV show was outside what he usually does. I will cherish it always. Below is a picture he took of me meeting and shaking Neal Adams hand, and below that is the print he got for me. He paid for the framing and everything, and wouldn’t take no for an answer for me to pay a portion of things.

By 2016, his health was beginning to fail. I went to Seattle to visit him and we were supposed to go to another ComicCon, I stayed at a really cool hostel across from Pike Place Market, and when I got there, I didn’t hear from him, which was extremely unusual. It turns out he was in the hospital. He was having trouble with his liver. He was always very vague about his health problems, I think he suffered a lot more than he let on.

We did manage a Mariners game when I was in Seattle in 2016:

This was really the first time I was super concerned for his health. He wanted to hang out and do the things with me so badly, and he just couldn’t. He spent most of his time with me in the area this time in the hospital. I went to visit him there every day that I could, and we did go to a Mariners game. To me, in this picture, he looks sick and jaundiced, which makes sense for liver difficulties. I don’t think he had the wherewithal to advocate for himself, or do the research that was needed to make his life better.

In July, 2019, he came to Reno again, and I was able to share some of my life with him. During that month, there is a month-long arts festival that happens in Reno called Artown. There is an event called “Pops on the River” that is a costume competition and high dollar fundraising event for the local Philharmonic. This year, we got Mike in, and I think he had a great time, I think the theme this year was the 60’s. So, my very talented friend who is a tie dye artist got to sell Mike a shirt and he had a good time. This is a sun drenched picture:

At this point I had hope for him! He seemed to be on better footing with his liver problems, he had lost weight, and was trying to get more active. I just don’t think he had a sense of how sick he was, the entire time he was sick. He looked better than he had in a long time.

Then the pandemic happened. No travel. Work from home. Sickness. Death. I’m pretty sure he had Covid, as he continued to move in and out of hospitals. He came in July 0f 2021, it was during the hottest weather in Nevada, and he was frail. We did manage some good hikes, and even encountered a bear in Galena, a mountain area on the way to larger mountains =)

He looked sick here, and he didn’t have the stamina to really walk around much and his balance was much, much worse for the wear. Every time I saw him the last few years, I wondered if it would be the last time. I’m sorry this time ended up being the last time. I wish I had taken more time. When he was coming every year, I used to sometimes get annoyed, being the social director. Then I’d try to have grace, because he didn’t really have anyone in his life. He had an ex-coworker named Larry and his wife who were probably closest to him. When he died, Larry posted on Facebook under his profile “Hello Mike’s friends. I’m very sorry to tell you all but Mike passed away peacefully Monday evening”. That was it. A lifetime of friendship, memories, good times. Gone. I have been missing my friend lately. Missing the random texts. “The Mariners won today.” Or “The M’s looked awful last night” or “How are you doing?” or even “Hoping to get down again before the end of the year, what’s your schedule looking like?”.

I miss my friend.

I loved him.

I have been composing this entry since he passed in July. I needed to complete it. Here it is. Today is October 5, 2023.

I hope he is at peace.