Today marks one week of being off work. Or, rather, “working from home”. I have so much privilege in my life, I feel guilty a lot. I try to be aware of it, see it.

I honestly can’t see life going back to the way it was before all this hit. I now have a personal connection with COVID-19. A very dear friend I met via Burning Man is recovering. She was asthmatic before and got it. My grand daughter just got out of the hospital Saturday, they wouldn’t test her because she hadn’t travelled but we also believe she is asthmatic. She was supposed to go see a pulmonologist two weeks ago, when all this started and they called us the night before the appointment and told us not to come. Our goal is to get home oxygen prescribed so she doesn’t have to go to the hospital when she gets sick like that. There are sick people in hospitals, dammit.

She’s my daughters youngest, turned 3 last November and she has the most awesome hippy name ever. My daughter outdid herself on this one. Her name is Aurora Rainer. Their last name is Starry. She is the spitting image of my daughter when she was a baby and that often melts my heart. The sass is also strong with that one, so we are all in big trouble. Here’s an older picture of her. Think I am going to go back now and see if I can find the pics from when we moved the bus out to the property….

And then the world changed…

 

Man, life is a trip.

I’ve always been a happy person. I try really hard to be thankful for what I have, recognize my privilege, and understand how much worse life could be. I’ve been so lucky in my life, truly. I love my job. This last week has been hard for me because at times, I don’t know what to do with myself. I like going to work, contributing, feeling like I am making a difference on the college campus where I work and put in lots of volunteer time to make the world more beautiful.

In many ways, much of my life the last twenty years has prepared me for this moment. I participate in a perpetual experiment in temporary community known as Burning Man, for almost the last twenty years. We pack up everything we need to survive and head to the remote Nevada desert and build the states sixth largest city for seven days and then make it disappear, as though it never existed. I know how to be isolated. I say I am an extroverted introvert. I CAN public speak, perform, and be “on” all the time. But it takes a toll, then I need to isolate and recharge myself. I like being alone and generally am my own best friend. For me, the challenge hasn’t been “how am I going to do this?!” But rather, “ What if I like this new, slower life and world BETTER and what will I do to make my life stay that way?!” I am at a crossroads in my life too. I just passed 21 years at my job, was planning to work or buy out to 30 years and then retire to our off-grid property and maybe travel a couple times a year.

Here’s the thing. There are defining moments in time and history. Now, we all know it’s possible to work remotely. I have a part time gig with the folks who run that event and almost all their folks work remotely. Do I take a lesser retirement and try to find a gig or wait for one with this place? I’d be lying if I said the thought had not crossed my mind….

Do any of us believe, after this 30 days is over, or however long it takes, that things will just return to how they were before? There’s a very big part of me that sincerely hopes not. This is a huge wake up call for humanity. It’s easy to scoff and call something welfare or socialism when it’s still possible to deny the dire straits some people live in. Much less so when literally over 50% of our population is affected….service workers must go to work sick because of lack of leave, incomes disappearing because of closure. What will happen after?! I hope people who need to see these things do. Maybe we can use this as a jumping off point to do better….here’s hoping.

I needed to get that out.

Peace.