this is a really bad time of the year for me.
i can’t believe my mom has been gone for three years. it seems like yesterday, and while at most times of the year the pain is a dull ache it seems to flair around this time of year into a red-hot poker that sears through my heart. i try to keep myself busy and try to stay upbeat, and most of the time i succeed. and then it hits me…
i have been trying to distract myself and that helps somewhat. i just read all four twilight books in about a week or less. that was entertaining. i wish there was more. escapism is an okay form of therapy =) i really am doing fine, but come here, as always, when i need an outlet for things i don’t feel comfortable expressing in other places. does this mean that my life has become so full most of the time that my need for open diary has decreased? that’s an interesting thought to ponder, but i think it’s more a time issue…
a few months ago, i went through a change at work. they decided that i needed to be more visible, so they took my nice, cozy, comfy office away from me and forced me in to a cubicle in the center of the noisiest, busiest office. it’s been quite the adjustment, and not always pleasant.
also, i am on my way to writing the saga of paris. i want to include pictures, and i don’t want to forget any of it! i think i am on day two or three now, in my other diary, the one where i pay for hosting space. or will, once my initial year is up =) this od window is behaving strangely and i wonder if it’s because i am using google chrome? that’s my current theory. now, i will see if the entry saves…..
yep, it saved, so perhaps it’s just a weird display thing in the code. i need to stop thinking about stuff like that =)
anyway, i am still here, and feeling a bit blue today. i did see AVATAR last night, in 3D and it was pretty nifty. seeing it in 3D made me want to see it in IMAX. i think some of the 3D stuff is lost on me because i tend to see and view things very linearly. i don’t even know if that’s a word, but we’ll say for arguments sake that it is.
i can’t think of what else to say, right now. yesterday was the solstice and i am happy to welcome the sun back, it can hurry along now, any time. my town got a huge snowfall this year, almost two feet at my own personal house, and it’s still hanging around, which is rare for the high desert, usually there’s not enough or it gets too warm to stick around. we were supposed to get another storm last night and while we did, it looks like it was mostly rain. there was just a light dusting of snow out this morning, and the roads didn’t seem nearly as frozen as they have in the past.
if any of you like chill-loungy type instrumental-based music, you should check this out, it’s very beautiful:
auditory canvas
that’s all i have for right now, will try to get back sooner than i did last time =)
peace.
