trying to write more….

wow. i am almost 40. i can’t believe it.

i really need to try to write here more. there’s so much stuff that’s in my head and in my brain, i know it needs to get out still, but i think i’ve been focusing on the physical in order to avoid focusing on the emotional, for the time being. with grief being what it is, sometimes it’s better not to think, but to stay busy and work through it slowly, privately.

preparations for the fire arts festival are progressing nicely. i do still need some vendors, but i am working on that. i met with someone this week who donated the cost of printing and mounting the art prints for my static art display. i think it’s going to be phenomenal. i want all the photographers we are featuring to come in and shoot the display, there seems something right about that to me, and something i will be proud of for a long time. at some point, perhaps i will post the photos, or i will let anyone know where they can see them =) the physical festival is going to be july 19, and should be cool, no matter what. monday i have a grant review hearing, it will be a new and interesting experience for me.

personally, i feel good. i am so busy, but i love it. this energy is amazing and fresh and always challenging.

i am heartened by the california supreme courts decision yesterday and hope that it remains….people should be able to marry who they choose to marry. i’ve never understood why the 14th amendment argument, which was also used when miscegenation was repealed in the sixties, is not also used as an argument for same sex marriage. perhaps the time just wasn’t right, but i believe that it is now.

i heart democracynow.org, it makes me feel more informed.

that’s all for now.

peace.

masters of war…..

getting ready to turn 40. this is my new favorite song, of late:

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin’
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it’s your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people’s blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You’ve thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain’t worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I’m young
You might say I’m unlearned
But there’s one thing I know
Though I’m younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death’ll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand o’er your grave
‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead

copyright 1963
bob dylan

how fitting, eh?

have a good day, after that, all =)