here is a link to a digital version of a project i did for my mom for this years temple:
http://slideroll.com/?s=qb23cpat
if you are a sap, don’t read it unless you want to cry. i am almost to the point, after creation and multiple editing, where i can almost not cry when i watch it anymore =)
this year’s burn for me, was, interesting.
i knew that it would be emotional because it would be the first without my mom at home, holding down the fort, anchoring me out in the desert, worrying about her while i was gone, and her and others making sure everything at home was copasetic while i was away playing in the desert. at times during this burn, i have never felt so cherished and loved and thought about, and at other times, i have never felt so alone. i think the surprise for me was whom i felt embraced by and who i felt alone with this year. telling, for sure. i will say that i have the most amazing friends in the entire world. my fire family is intense, dysfunctional, wonderful, loving, and some of the most awesome human beings i have the privilege to share this earth with. for them, i will be eternally grateful on many, many more levels than i can adequately express.
the rangers this year were interesting. i hesitate to write too candidly about that aspect of things here just because much of it is not something that should be aired in public, per se (not that this is public, but i wrote this in my tribe blog, i may yet vent some more about this aspect here, hehehe). what i will say is that that, too, was a very challenging aspect of my burn. within the rangers, there are at least three different subteams that i help out with, and between commitment to my fire projects, finding out i was taking on another team right before coming out to the playa, and some internal ranger stuff, this year was my most challenging yet, ranger-wise. it was also heartwarming, fun, chaotic, and a tremendous learning experience, for which i am thankful. trying to determine how the ranger ranks can keep pace with the growth of the city is a challenge that faced us this year. i think that we rose to that challenge and did excellent work on many levels, but the sense of burn out and "i am not going to do that again" is also larger this year than in those past. many people chose not to work or work as much as they had in the past, and this left a hole in the number of rangers working, for which we all paid or had to compensate for. i think that i logged over a hundred hours this event, and came away feeling like i over-committed myself, like i need to make changes for next year with what i agree to do, and like i didn’t get to see enough of the event or it’s camps, spend quality time with my campmates and partner, or spend the time with my friends that i would have liked to.
that being said, the art was amazing.
part of me wants to call the guy that lit the man on fire early a cluetard, and part of me wants to call him a visionary. the cluetard part comes mostly from thinking of the logistics of how many people could have been harmed during his act of arson. *i* probably would not consider this person a visionary, but if one considers a definition of art to include "a (product of) human activity, made with the intention of stimulating the human senses as well as the human mind; by transmitting emotions and/or ideas", the man could be considered an artist. ’nuff said about that.
in my personal rangering this year, i did most of my interacting with art car drivers, but also rangering my fellow rangers as well as family members, as newbies and as second-timers. i think i also helped someone see a different side of rangering that they didn’t know existed. an entire sub-culture around to help participants of burning man, in some of the many ways that can take shape. eh.
i did some dangerous art stuff this year that was way fun. i think that’s where my focus will be in the immediate future.
was my burning man "fun"? i wouldn’t term it that. it was educational, busy, exhausting, trying, emotional, up and down, sweet, laden with new and renewed experience, and full of turmoil.
i hope that i let go what i needed to let go and can now move forward with peace. i think that i did.
on to preparing for next year….
peace.
